Twilight vs. Cha-cha

(Posted Nov. 30, 2008 at bebongpating.multiply.com)

[YES, ladies and gentlemen, this is the first time I am going to have a commentary on Twilight and Cha-cha.]

Holy cow, this Twilight phenomenon is not only hitting the waves and the records, this is hitting the worldwide consciousness. I remember someone even dreaming of Edward Cullen. I know someone, a guy, who thinks his Edward Cullen. Man, talk about sh*tness. That is one helluva crazy! Seems this has topped the pop culture phenomenon and recreated Anne Rice's Interview with the Vampire. Look, at one point in time, specifically lunch time in UST, you know that around 30,000+ people are outside the buildings ramming through restos, food corners and whatnots at that time. Man, you gotta believe this on my way to Dapitan, I almost threw up hearing Twilight and Edward for more than 7 minutes while walking. But then again, blame not the people, blame not the writer, blame not the story, blame psychology!

As it is with blood-sucking vampires reintroduced as a subtle man-loving creature in Twilight, we also start take a look at the big fat blood-sucking Draculas somewhere in Quezon City. Yes, we have Edward Cullens in Batasan. And man, they have Bella Swan also! Holy crap! I didn't know we have it here in the Philippines. Guess what, Bella Swan lives at Palace near Pasig River. And Edward Cullens want Bella Swan to stay in the Palace past 2010. While most, regular human beings get trapped into the financial smog, these brainless Edwards keep on pressing that white and black key for Cha-cha. Are these people so brainless, the doctors found record-breaking green peas inside the skull of these maniacs?

Damn, instead of hitting on those who lobby the RH Bill, smash on the fat guys who trample the Constitution, smack hit the National Budget and poke the intelligence of Filipinos. We even have a "saint" who recently called Filipinos "for sale." Yo, big ears, don't you ever think blowing the whistle gives you the right to slap us on the nape. Your cheap trick doesn't scare your chaps in that stupid House nor it elevates our senses for corruption. Maybe you ought to watch Twilight and diddle yourself in the movie house.

And to you Bella Swan, better sit back and relax until 2010, because you will surely taste the same grain your predecessor ate when you deposed him.

Juan Dela Cruz, wake up, this is no Twilight. This is dawn breaking.